A Simple Elopement Ceremony in Scotland: What to Expect
Before We Begin: A Calm and Gentle Start
The feeling of your ceremony begins long before the first words are spoken. A calm start to your day is essential.
Nourish Yourselves: A good breakfast or lunch is so important—being hungry is never a good foundation for feeling relaxed! Listen to your body clock and don’t rush.
Your Support Team: You may have a photographer joining you beforehand, or someone helping with hair and makeup. These suppliers should add to the calm, not take away from it. (I will have a dedicated article on choosing the right suppliers for an introvert-friendly wedding soon!)
A Stress-Free Journey: Whether you're taking a short walk from your cottage or driving to a location, plan the journey to be as simple as possible. The last thing you need is a stressful rush.
You've chosen a beautiful, quiet elopement. You're dreaming of the wild landscape or the cosy hearth of a holiday home. But then a quiet, nagging thought might creep in: What do we actually... do?
Where do we stand? What do we say? What happens first, and who else will be involved?
For anyone who feels a little anxious about being the centre of attention, the unknown parts of a simple wedding ceremony in Scotland can be the biggest source of stress. This is made even more true because elopements are, by their nature, very private. It’s not the kind of wedding most people have ever attended, so it’s natural to feel unsure. The fear isn't about the commitment; it's about the logistics and the fear of feeling awkward.
This guide is here to take all of that worry away. My experience has shown me that having a clear, gentle plan is the best antidote to anxiety, so let's walk through it, moment by moment.
The Ceremony: A Moment-by-Moment Guide
1. The Gentle Beginning: Arriving and Settling In
There is no grand entrance unless you want one. The beginning is simply about arriving and finding our centre.
If We're Outdoors: We'll walk to our chosen location together. There's no hurry. We'll find the perfect spot with the best view and the most shelter.
If We're Indoors: I will arrive at your venue (or holiday home), and we'll take a moment to settle into the space you've chosen—by the fire, in front of a window, whatever feels right.
Finding the Sweet Spot: Before we begin, the goal is to get into that sweet spot of focusing on each other and the moment. By now, we will know each other well enough for me to sense what you need. For some, I’ll offer a few quiet words to ground us all in the moment. For others, I will simply give you the gift of silence to take a few deep breaths together.
2. The Welcome: A Soft Opening
A ceremony doesn't begin with a loud announcement. It begins by quietly acknowledging the importance of the moment.
A Few Words of Welcome: I will begin by recognising your journey to this time and place. It’s a way to gently mark the beginning of this significant moment. My voice will be calm and the words simple.
Setting the Tone: I may include a short reading here. It might be a favourite poem you've chosen, or something I’ve selected about love or the Scottish landscape. Sometimes, a touch of humour or even a laugh is the best way to help everyone relax into the moment.
3. The Heart: Your Story
Many celebrants tell a simple story of how you met. My approach is a little different.
A Deeper Reflection: Because this is a legal elopement in Scotland with few or no guests, we don't need a simple recap of your history—you already know it! Instead, my role is to act as a mirror, reflecting your story back to you in a new light. I will weave together the themes, values, and metaphors of your life into a narrative that is personal, fitting, and accurate to your connection, helping you see your own love story in a way that feels profound and affirming.
4. Meaningful Rituals
Woven into your ceremony, we can include a ritual that feels meaningful to you. This is a beautiful, tactile way to symbolise your union. It could be a traditional Scottish handfasting or a sip from a Quaich, or a completely unique ritual we design together.
5. The Promises: Your Vows and Rings
This is the core of your commitment, and my job is to make it feel completely safe.
Your Vows, Your Way: We will have talked at length about the different vow options to find the one that fits your style perfectly. Whether you are reading your own words, using a simple "I do" format, or exchanging private letters, all the worry about this part will have been taken care of long before the day itself.
The Legal Words: To make your marriage official, certain legal promises must be made. This is very simple. It can involve you repeating a short, traditional phrase after me, or simply answering "I do" to a legal question I ask. We will have chosen the way that feels best for you.
Exchanging Rings: Not all couples have rings, but if you do, I will prompt you at the right moment. We will have already decided if you want to say a few words (often repeating after me) or if you'd prefer to simply exchange them in a moment of quiet connection.
6. The Declaration and The Kiss
Once the promises are made, it's time for the joyful confirmation. I will declare you married, and then I will invite you to share a kiss. This is always an invitation, not a command. A heartfelt hug or a simple look of love is just as powerful. You do what feels true to you.
7. The End: A Soft Landing
Your ceremony won't come to an abrupt end.
A Final Blessing: I'll close with a few final words—perhaps a short poem or a simple blessing for your future.
Signing the Paperwork: We will then sign the Marriage Schedule with your two witnesses. We can do this on a rock, a blanket, or a nearby table. It's a calm, practical moment that gently transitions you back from the ceremony.
Giving You Space: Afterwards, the path is yours. You might take some more photos with your photographer, or if it's just us, I can take a few snaps for you on your phone. You might share a celebratory drink or picnic, or simply enjoy a quiet moment alone in the landscape. I will then quietly step back, leaving you to enjoy the first few moments of your marriage.
A Note on Guests, Witnesses, and Dogs
Witnesses: For a legal wedding, you need two witnesses over the age of 16. Often your photographer will act as one and I can help to arrange one (or two ) experienced, sympathetic witnesses who understand my style and will feel like a gentle presence on the day.
Guests & Dogs: If you have a few special guests, or a beloved dog, we will make them part of the circle. I ensure they know what to expect and when, so they feel like supportive participants in your moment, not spectators who need to be entertained.
And that's it. A series of simple, quiet, and heartfelt moments. No surprises, no pressure. Just a calm, beautiful space for you to get married, your way.